Woofies
by I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Summary: This makes about as much sense as anything else.


Ben 10 is the property of Man of Action. Writing poorly done, nonsensical, vaguely out of character trash is far more easy and fun than writing anything reasonable. But maybe I'll get to it in a future date. Wink, wink.

"There's been an outbreak of wolf attacks in Bellwood for some weird reason," said Gwen upon browsing a news article on her Tumblr.

"So, are you a wolfaboo, or something?" Ben taunted as he passed.

"No!" Gwen denied.

"Your deviantART page says otherwise," Ben smirked.

"Doctor Animo is on the loose," Gwen changed the subject while deleting her sparklewolf account, "and he'll probably try and mutate the wolves into vicious monsters."

"So?" Ben grunted.

"SO, why don't you go DO something about it?" Gwen yelled.

"All right, sheesh, don't blow a gasket," Ben responded. He turned into XLR8 and ran out the door.

He eventually came across a wounded hunter, surrounded by wolves.

"Hey, you're that alien hero guy! Help me!" yelled the hunter.

"Were you hunting without a license?" Ben asked.

"If I say yes, will you still help me?" asked the hunter.

"Yeah, I don't give a shit about wildlife conservation, to be honest," Ben responded, shrugging.

"Yes, I was, when all of a sudden, this crazy guy comes out of the woods on a huge wolf. He chased me, but I got away. But then the rest of the wolf pack found me," explained the hunter.

"Damn, so Doctor Animo was involved," Ben muttered. He owed Gwen a coke. But fat chance of him giving it to her. He grabbed the hunter and threw him up into a tree. "You'll be safe up here. Wolves can't climb trees."

"Not unless they possess...OPPOSABLE THUMBS!" yelled a familiar voice.

"Aw, fuck, it's Doctor Douchebag!" Ben cried.

Doctor Animo jumped out from behind a tree. He rode on a giant, bi-pedal wolf. It looked like a mutated, were-version of the Insanity Wolf.

"_HAVE UNPOPULAR OPINION ON DWAYNE MCDUFFIE'S WORK, VOICE IT IN PUBLIC!_" screamed the wolf-beast.

Ben gasped. "That's fucking insane!" He transformed into Blitzwolfer, I mean Benwolf, I mean Courage Wolf, and prepared to attack.

"_HAVE HIDDEN SOCIOPATHIC TENDENCIES, REVEAL THEM JOKINGLY THROUGH INSANITY WOLF MEME_!" the wolf screamed at the top of its powerful lungs, as it lunged at Benwolfer.

"Fuck you, you freak!" Ben yelled. He kicked the creature in its gaping jaw.

"_RAPE EVERYONE, RAPE, RAPE RAPE, IT'S THE ONLY THING I FIND FUNNY IN MY MISERABLY EMPTY, SEX DENIED LIFE!_" the world screamed, hurling spit from its fanged jaws.

Ben unleashed his sonic howl and managed to knock Doctor Animo from his perch. "Ow!" he yelled. He fell to the ground.

"_YOU DON'T LIKE MY LITTLE PONY? TIME TO FUCKING DIE!_" howled the wolf-thing.

"You first, bitch," Ben scowled. He sonic howled in the wolf-thing's ugly face, causing it to fly backwards, into a tree. The tree cracked in half and fell on top of the wolf-thing, crushing it to death. "Thank the fucking lord." Ben transformed back to his human self.

"Don't thank him yet, Ben tennyson," said Doctor Animo. "You're not safe yet." He pulled out a gun and shot at Ben.

"What, why the fuck would you shoot me with a gun? That's not your style! Where's your crazy rays and mutagenic weapons?" Ben ranted, as he dodged plain old every day bullets, until one hit him in the leg. "Aaaaugh!"

"Shooting you is much easier, because you'll fucking die," Doctor Animo responded. He fired quite accurately, unfortunately for Ben.

"I can't die...I'm the HERO!" Ben whimpered.

And this was true, luckily for him. The bullet that was aimed for his head ended up ricocheting mysteriously, and hitting nothing but the ground.

"AH, THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Doctor Animo screamed. He threw the gun down and ran away. "I'll get you next time, Ben Tennyson!"

Ben's blood had attracted the wolves. "Oh no...the wolves. I forgot about them! But I'm too tired and hurt to save myself," he muttered. Exhausted, Ben passed out.

Eventually Ben awoke to find himself in a cabin in the woods. It turned out to be the hunter's cabin.

"Hey, I get it, I saved you...now you saved me," Ben said thankfully.

"Oh, no, I'm actually a pedophile as well as a poacher. I just saw an easy target," responded the hunter. He shut the curtains and laughed evilly.

"Oh nooooooo!" Ben screamed in terror. He looked down at the Omnitrix, waiting for it to go green, but it was still on the red. "Hurry up, you billion dollar toy sale generating piece of shit!"

There was a knock on the door, which caused the hunter to stop advancing towards Ben and frown. "What? Who the hell could that be way out here, in the middle of nowhere?"

He opened the door and received a disemboweling. Doctor Animo appeared in the doorway, wearing a huge set of mechanical claws that were now covered in blood.

"Are you happy now, Tennyson? I made these mechanical bear claws to kill you with!" he yelled.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but, yes, I am, given the circumstances," Ben responded gratefully. "Unless you're going to try and molest my tender little boy flesh, that is."

Doctor Animo gagged. "Ew, no fucking way! I hate you. Why would I want to get sexy with you? Unless maybe you looked like a cute animal, or something."

"Yeah, that's what I thought...wait...what did you say?!" Ben inquired nervously.

"Nothing! I said nothing!" Doctor Animo shouted. He instead sliced his claws at Ben's head. "Now die already."

Ben got the green and transformed again, turning into Wildvine. "What a surprising turn of events. TENTACLE RAPE!" he yelled. He sent out his vines and wrapped them around Doctor Animo.

"Aaaaaah!" Doctor Animo yelled, as the tentacle-vines molested him. "Not fair! NOT FAIR! DOUBLE STANDARDS!"

"Ha ha," Ben laughed, "I know, it's not cool for you to molest me, but I can molest you. Welcome to double standards central, bitch!"

He then threw Doctor Animo out of the window. He looked out the window and laughed even harder while the wolves began to pee on Doctor Animo, considering him one of their own. Or something. I don't know how wolf packs work. Besides, this is a story.

"Nooooo! Damn you, Tennyson! I'll have my revenge!" Doctor Animo screamed.

"No you won't," Ben laughed.

"Yes I will!" Doctor Animo yelled.

"No you won't."

"Yes I will!"

"No you won't!"

"YES I WILL!"

Nope."

"God damn it!" Doctor Animo began to cry. Deep down, he knew Ben was probably right.

(End?)


End file.
